


Housesitting

by aesoprock



Category: South Park
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Autistic Original Character, Babysitting, Bisexual Stan Marsh, Craigslist, Depressed Stan Marsh, Healthy Relationships, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, M/M, Mild Horror, Minor Injuries, Post-Divorce, Slow Burn, Split Custody, Stalking, cartman is the stalker, kyle might be a lil stupid in this one, parenting, stan has a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-16
Updated: 2020-11-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 02:55:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 18,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25926226
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aesoprock/pseuds/aesoprock
Summary: Kyle Broflovski sees an ad on Craigslist and decides to go for it.
Relationships: Divorced Stan Marsh/Wendy Testaburger, Kyle Broflovski/Stan Marsh, Minor Bebe Stevens/Wendy Testaburger
Comments: 62
Kudos: 164





	1. Chapter 1

Originally, Kenny had sent him the link. It was an ad on Craigslist, a website which Kyle found to be generally very shady, but Kenny was right- the description and title seemed promising.

Sept 22nd -  **$100/day, petsitting, baby(?)sitting, housesitting**

_ Looking for someone who is good with cats, good with special needs kids. I will be out of town for work-related purposes. Don’t trust my ex-wife to take care of my son (w/ mild autism) so need someone to watch over him _

_ I have two cats, one outdoor one indoor. You will need to kick the outdoor cat out before you leave because he is not litter box trained and will piss everywhere _

_ NO pedos, drug addicts, child/animal abusers (for obvious reasons) _

_ You do not need to have experience babysitting or house sitting. Just common sense _

_ Email me at  _ [ _ stbmar@gmail.com _ ](mailto:stbmar@gmail.com) _ (if you can't commit to full day & night baby sitting do not email me) _

_ We will need to meet somewhere beforehand so I know I can trust you _

Kyle thought it was a scam. Far too good to be true- $100  _ per day? _

“Come on, at least email him and see if the offer is still open. It was posted, what, a day ago?” Kenny said, shoveling ramen in his mouth. “He’s in the area, dude. Just see.”

He crossed his arms and sunk back into the lumpy, uncomfortable couch. “What if it’s a gang and they want to harvest my organs?”

“Drive by the address they give and see. It’s a really good pay, dude. For just one week, you would end up with 700 dollars. Talk to them.”

Shaking his head, Kyle pulled out his phone and sent a short email to the guy from the ad, asking if he still needed someone to house sit. “Fine. I will. What kind of email address is  _ stbmar  _ at Gmail?”

Kenny just shrugged. “Guy’s probably rich if he can afford to pay someone that much.”

As soon as Kyle sat his phone down on the couch, it dinged with a reply. Kenny smirked. “Maybe he’s desperate because nobody wants to take care of his shit.”

**_Stan M._ ** _ ( _ [ _ stbmar@gmail.com _ ](mailto:stbmar@gmail.com) _ ) _

to me

_ Yep! Still available, haven’t gotten any actual offers yet. Can we meet up somewhere? _

_ If not, give me your number and a good time to call. I’m leaving October 1st so no rush. _

Kenny leaned over his shoulder, reading the message. “He’s serious, huh…?”

“He seems nice,” Kyle spoke absently, emailing the man back with his number and the words “anytime is good, I can meet up if you want.”

A few minutes later, he got a call. Kyle stood up and walked into the hallway for some privacy, answering the phone and lifting it to his ear. Best case scenario, he babysat for a few days and walked away with a couple hundred bucks. Worse case scenario, someone tries to steal his kidneys. Even odds.


	2. Chapter 2

After a brief phone call detailing where to meet up (Kyle decided that getting murdered in a sketchy Craigslist guy’s house wouldn’t be so bad after all) and what time, Kyle took the car he and Kenny shared and made his way to this mysterious man’s house. Over the phone, he had sounded polite and relatively normal, but there was really no telling with these things. Kyle had a switchblade in the right pocket of his cargo shorts- didn’t hurt to be overprepared.

Kyle pulled into the neighborhood, looking around. It was overwhelmingly rich and white, houses lining the street that he wouldn’t be able to afford even after years of working- not with the stupid college debt and student loans he had to pay off. Still, he decided to look on the bright side. He would look after this dude’s kid and his two cats, and would walk away with maybe $400. That would put him ahead, even if it was just by a little. He parked in front of a bland, tasteless house, nearly identical to the other ones surrounding it. The only thing setting this house apart from the others was the dark blue car in front of him in the drive, and the number  _ 259  _ on the mailbox.

Anxiety kicked in as soon as Kyle stepped out of the car. The sun was setting, and what if there  _ was _ a group of guys inside that wanted to harvest his organs? A measly switchblade wouldn’t help him much in that situation. 

Putting his car keys in his left pocket (opposite of the phone and his switchblade,) he tried to think the scenario through. If he needed someone to housesit his house, where would he go besides Craigslist? He really couldn’t think of anything. And if he did go missing in this guy’s basement or something, he knew Kenny would worry about him. He had the guy’s address and email, they could track him down and arrest him. 

He knew he was overthinking, though. Kyle stepped onto the porch and checked his phone.  _ 5:08.  _ He was supposed to be there at 5:30, which meant he was way too early for their meeting, but it didn’t matter. Maybe that would prove he was reliable or responsible or something. He let a few minutes pass before knocking on the door, trying not to seem creepy as he looked around at the bushes and the swinging chair to his left. Could he make a living out of house sitting?

“Oh, hey!” the man answered, cracking the door. “Sorry, there’s a deadbolt,” he explained, shutting it again and undoing the chain so Kyle could come in. Stan opened the door wider and stepped back.

Putting on the most realistic smile he could muster, Kyle nodded and let himself in. “Hi, I know I’m, uh… early, but I didn’t have anything else to do today,” he explained, studying the man’s face. Mid-twenties, maybe? How was he already financially stable in his mid-twenties?

Stan smiled and closed the front door, letting Kyle in further. He stood in the kitchen, looking around, clueless as to what to do with himself, where to put his hands (in his pockets?), or what to say. “Nah, it’s fine. How old are you, by the way? If you’re still in high school, it’s a deal breaker, sorry.”

“What?” Kyle asked, narrowing his eyes. “I’m not still in high school.”

“Really?”

“I’m twenty.”

Stan motioned to the dining room table. “Sit down. Um, exactly twenty, or almost twenty?”

“Well, I turned twenty last May, so exactly twenty.” Kyle sat down and stared at the older man.

“Right. So, college?” Stan opened his fridge- Kyle could see a box of Capri Suns in the door, something he used to drink a lot as a kid. “Do you want anything to drink while we talk? I have juice, since y’know, you can’t have alcohol yet,” he joked. 

Kyle’s face reddened in frustration. This guy couldn’t be that much older than him- was he trying to piss him off? “Water. How old are you, then?”

“Twenty-five,” he answered, pouring water into a glass cup. He closed the fridge and set the cup on the table. “What’s your major?”

He opened his mouth to speak, but wasn’t really sure what he should say. Kyle majored in law for the last three years of college, but was now tempted to change it. “Law. But I’m- I don’t know if I should switch.” Kyle stared down at the cup, taking note of how  _ clean  _ the dining room table was for someone with a kid. He didn’t even know how old his son was. A baby? Toddler? Adolescent? Teenager?

Him having a teenager wasn’t likely- he would’ve had to get a woman pregnant in his teenage years to have a teenager himself. But anything was possible.

“Well, what do you want to switch to?” Stan asked, sitting down across from him. 

Kyle heard a TV somewhere behind him, but didn’t look back in fear of being rude. “Um, either psychology, or something… science-y.” He lifted the glass of water and took a sip, hoping he was making a good impression. Probably not.

“Oh, psychology sounds fun. Why did you go into law?”

“My dad wanted me to. I mean, being a lawyer pays well, but- I wouldn’t want to do it myself, you know? I don’t want to help pedos and rapists and serial killers stay out of jail, and I don’t want to put up with them either.” He realized that he was rambling just a little too late to keep it from happening. “...Sorry, um, anyway. House sitting,” Kyle said sheepishly.

Stan’s smile grew. “No, no. It’s okay, I asked. But yeah, I think you should switch your major if it’s something you’re more passionate about.”

Heat rose to Kyle’s cheeks. “...Okay. I think I will. Um, how long will you be gone next month?”

“I’ll be home on October 28th, so that’s pretty much a full month that you’ll have to take care of him. Don’t worry- he goes to school on the weekdays, and he rides the bus so you won’t have to drive him back and forth.” Stan sat up straighter. “The cats aren’t much maintenance either. I have an orange one, Vinny, he’s the outdoor cat, just let him in and out- he’ll meow at the door- and my other one is litter box trained, so you’ll have to clean it once a week.”

He nodded quickly. “Yeah, that sounds good. I was never allowed to have pets when I was younger, so- is there anything I need to know about them?” Kyle wasn’t going to come out and admit that he fucking  _ loathed  _ cats. That would lower his chances at being able to house sit for this guy.

“Nah. They’re pretty independent. Oh, feed them and give them water too. That’s it. The black one is moody, she might scratch you, so don’t go near her unless she comes to you first.”

Kyle smiled and took another sip of water. “Okay, sounds good. Um… how old is your son?”

“He’s nine, his birthday is in a few months though. November 3rd. Oh… my ex-wife is gonna take Ryan on the weekends, but if she looks like she’s been using cocaine, don’t let her take him.” He leaned back in the dining room chair. “Just tell her no, and if she doesn’t leave, call the police. They’ll know what to do.”

“Wow… you’ve had to call the police on her before?”

Stan nodded. “Plenty of times.” He cleared his throat. “Sorry, allergies. Uh, have you ever dealt with kids before?”

“Mhm, I grew up with a little brother. Seven years younger than me.” Ike was a little shit to put up with, but thankfully those years were long behind him. Now that Kyle was twenty, Ike was thirteen- in 7th grade. Still a dickhead, though.

“Oh, that’s nice. You wanna meet him? Ryan, I mean.”

Kyle was not good with cats  _ or  _ kids, but he figured if he was going to make this work, he’d better act like he was. “Oh, sure! That would be good.” He wondered if Stan could  _ tell  _ that he was putting on an act. Hopefully not.

Standing up, he motioned for Kyle to follow him as he entered the living room. The living room was a little messier, with various toys and blankets scattered around. A cat perch sat in the corner of the living room, next to the TV, with an older black cat sleeping at the top. Vinny- the orange cat- was on the little kid’s lap, awake.

“Hey punk, you wanna meet your babysitter?” Stan said, approaching the couch.

Kyle stood next to the entrance, awkwardly, before realizing that he should probably move. He stood next to Stan and waved at Ryan, who was fixated on the TV. Ryan turned to look at him.

“Why can’t mom do it?” he muttered, petting the cat as he spoke. “I like Bebe, she lets me play with her dog.”

Stan sat down next to his son and stroked his short, red hair. “You’ll see Mom and Bebe on the weekends. This is Kyle, okay? He’s going to be here all of next month.”

“What about Halloween? You won’t be there.”

“I will. I’m coming home on the 28th, I’ll be there in time.”

Ryan glanced back up at Kyle. “You have a stupid name.”

He smiled. “Thanks.” Kyle studied the boy's face. Him and Stan didn’t look very similar, but he guessed he carried more genes from his mother, whoever that was.

“Don’t be rude,” Stan scolded him, standing back up. “Okay. Do you use PayPal?” he asked Kyle.

Stan was paying him  _ now?  _ “Oh- yeah, I have a PayPal… why?”

“Well, next month, you’ll need to go grocery shopping at some point.” Stan made his way back into the kitchen and sat down at the dining room table. “Ryan doesn’t like going, so you can do it while he’s at school or on the weekends. I’ll send you a list of what he likes.”

“...Oh.” That made more sense. Kyle gave him his PayPal username, glad that Stan already had most of this stuff thought out.

After Stan saved Kyle’s PayPal username somewhere in his phone, he put it away. “Okay, I think that’s it. I’ll give you a key sometime before I leave, and uh… if you need anything else, just text or call me, okay?” he said, smiling.

“Yeah, I can’t think of anything right now but um.. if I have any questions I will. Uh, I’m gonna go home now, and eat… dinner. But thanks for talking to me,” Kyle answered, smiling back. He was surprised at how  _ well  _ the whole thing went. Kyle hadn’t fucked anything up so far, and Stan still had a positive opinion of him.

Stan nodded. “Talk to you on the first, then?”

“Mhm! Have a good night.” Kyle made his way to the front door, glancing back at Stan as he gripped the doorknob.

“You too.”

Kyle left the house, closing the front door and descending the porch stairs. As he started his car and buckled his seatbelt, he did the math in his head. One hundred bucks per day, for twenty eight days. That was almost three thousand dollars. And the best thing about it was that he would be able to go to his classes on the weekends and while Ryan was at school.

That day, Kyle drove back to his dorm with a smile.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is kinda just to advance the plot so sorry if its a little short lol

“You owe me a twelve pack for finding that ad in the first place,” Kenny teased. “Seriously, you think you can put up with a kid? For an entire month?”

Kyle shrugged. Like he told Stan before, he grew up with a little brother- it couldn’t be that much different. “I’ll get you a twelve pack. And, uh, yeah? Tons of people do it.” He turned away from Kenny, staring out of the window. He  _ was _ a little anxious knowing he would be left to take care of someone else’s kid, knowing that if anything went wrong, he would be blamed- but the money was good, and Stan seemed understanding.

Kenny parked the car. “Here. You’re gonna have to find someone to drive you to class next Saturday, I’ve got a date.”

“A date? All day Saturday?”

“Yep.” Kenny looked through the windshield at Stan’s house, spotting him on the porch. Waving at him, he looked back at Kyle. “Get Cartman to drive you.”

Kyle crossed his arms. “Yeah? What about your engineering class? Gonna miss that?”

“Mhm. I’m doing good in that one, missing one day won’t hurt. Go talk to your sugar daddy, Kyle.”

“Whatever.” Kyle got out of the car, feeling the humid, yet cold air settle around him as he slammed the door shut. He turned to see Stan on the porch, dressed up in a suit and tie. Stan waved at him.

Waving back, Kyle made his way onto the porch. “Sorry, I had to sort some stuff out with my, uh, dorm roommate.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he smiled, staring down at his keyring. Stan wedged a silver key out of the ring and held it out for Kyle. “Uh, the plants are fake. Don’t water them.”

Grinning back, Kyle took the key from him and slipped it into his pocket. “Okay, I’ll remember that.”

“Okay, I think that’s it. If you have any questions, just text me, okay?” he said, bending over to pick up his suitcase. “Oh- the black cat. She’s kind of obese, so make sure you play with her a little bit every day, she has a gray mouse she likes. Just throw it around the living room and she’ll chase it.” He stood back up, making eye contact with Kyle. He opened his mouth to say something, but shook his head instead.

Kyle found it a little weird, but he didn’t say anything. “Okay. Yeah, I’ll text you.”

“Good. See you next month?”

“You too,” he smiled, gripping the strap of his backpack. Kyle watched Stan get into his car from the corner of his eye as he opened the front door.

Stepping inside, he turned around and shut the door, leaning against it. Saying his goodbyes to Stan was extremely awkward, but he was glad it was over with.

Once Kyle steadied himself, he made his way into the kitchen and dining room, looking around. It would be stupid of him to clean  _ now-  _ it would definitely get messy between today and the day Stan was supposed to come back. Plus, the house was already pretty clean.

He looked in cabinets and the fridge, trying to accustom himself to the new house, and the type of things Ryan ate. Kyle took a diet Mountain Dew from the fridge and cracked it open, leaving the kitchen and entering the living room, looking around as he sipped on it.

The black cat was nowhere to be found. Kyle wasn’t sure if he got the black cat’s name, but if he did, he sure as hell didn’t remember what it was. Vinny, however, was sprawled out in the middle of the floor, sleeping. Kyle smiled and crouched down next to the cat, scratching it behind the ears. The cat only stretched out further, nudging its head against Kyle’s hand.  _ He’s so lovable, no wonder Ryan likes him. _

Kyle’s eyes trailed down the cat’s stomach, before he noticed a wound near Vinny’s paw. Frowning, he touched it. The cat didn’t flinch. He looked back up at the cat, noticing that he was a little… skinny. Underfed? Vinny was definitely scragglier than the other cat, but Kyle didn’t want to jump to conclusions- having a skinny cat didn’t mean that Stan was an animal abuser. Still, he couldn’t help but be mad at Stan for underfeeding him, assuming that it was Stan who underfed him in the first place.

Picking his can back up, he left the living room, walking down the hallway. He stopped and pushed open the door to Stan’s room, where he would be staying for the next month. It still had what looked like a lot of his ex-wife’s things strewn about, but overall seemed habitable.

Kyle sat down on the bed. He didn’t mean to snoop, but he was a naturally… curious person. He set the can of pop down on the bedside table and opened the drawer, only to find a few (empty) pill bottles, a pocket knife, a bottle of lotion, and a box of tissues. They were all relatively normal things to have in a bedside drawer. Even the knife could be explained by paranoia. 

He lifted the empty pill bottles to his face, reading the labels. All of them were prescribed for a Stanley R. Marsh, which checked out. Kyle knew it was wrong, but he read the names on the bottom. Sertraline, lamotrigine… Kyle took his phone out of his pocket and looked those names up. Sertraline was an antidepressant, and lamotrigine was a mood stabilizer for borderline personality disorder. Damn- he wouldn’t have guessed Stan suffered from either of those things only from talking to him, but maybe he was doing better now. Maybe he was stable.

Or maybe he was a drug dealer.

Kyle took his backpack off and smiled at the thought. Yeah- most drug dealers didn’t sell mood stabilizers, but there was a market for everything, wasn’t there? He toed his shoes off and slipped under the covers, not bothering to wash the blankets or sheets before pulling the covers up to his head and falling asleep. They seemed clean enough, and he was exhausted from staying up all night, studying.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> read the a/n

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey guys!! im really sorry, i posted the wrong chapter earlier today lmaooo oops. just ignore what you read.
> 
> this is the right chapter i promise

Kyle soon learned that babysitting wasn’t all that hard, especially considering that Ryan, at only nine years old, was far more invested in his tablet or watching TV than he was in bugging Kyle to pay attention to him. Part of Kyle was thankful that Stan’s son wasn’t up his ass all the time, but another part of him worried about his excessive TV watching.

He noticed that most of Ryan’s time was spent on Cartoon Network. Every so often he would watch Nickelodeon, but he wouldn’t touch Disney with a ten foot pole. He rotated between Gumball, Regular Show, Clarence, and Spongebob. If anything else came on, Ryan would turn the TV off and go back to what he was doing.

Naturally, Kyle was concerned. He didn’t have friends or schoolwork to finish? It had only been a day and a half of watching over him, but he remembered his childhood being much different. Much more exciting.

Kyle sat down on the couch next to him one evening, after he got home from school. Vinny was sprawled out on Ryan’s lap once again, which Kyle found admirable. “Do you miss your daddy?” he asked.

“No,” Ryan answered, not looking up from his tablet.

He blinked. “Uh… why not?”

“Should I?”

“Well, yeah? He’s your dad,” Kyle went on, reaching out to rub the cat on its stomach. The cat stretched out further, letting out a small squeak. 

Ryan looked up from his tablet. “But he’s coming back. Plus, I like you much better.”

“Oh?” Kyle asked, furrowing his eyebrows. Why would Ryan already like him better? “Why is that?”

“Because he makes me brush my teeth.”

_ Oh shit.  _ “Um… you still have to brush your teeth, sorry.” Kyle might’ve forgotten about it yesterday evening, but he was going to make Ryan start doing it now- the last thing he wanted was for Stan to come home and have to get fifteen of Ryan’s cavities filled. 

“Actually, I think you should get up and brush them right now, since you forgot to last night.”

Ryan let his tablet drop on the couch, pushing the cat aside and standing up. “Dammit.”

“Hey-” Kyle started, “no cussing.”

“Dad does it all the time.” Ryan went to the bathroom and stood on his tiptoes, fumbling around in the medicine cabinet before finding his toothpaste. “He doesn’t care if I do it.”

Kyle smiled, turning around to watch Ryan brush his teeth. It was always cute when kids lied to him. “Want me to call him and find out?”

“Yes.” He took his toothbrush from the cup, setting it on the sink and trying to get the toothpaste cap off.

...Maybe Stan didn’t care if he cussed after all. Kyle found that a little odd, but maybe the two of them had a rule set in place, like he could only cuss when he was at home or something. Still, he didn’t text Stan over it. “Are you sure?”

“ _ Yes,”  _ Ryan repeated, sounding annoyed. He held up the toothpaste tube, motioning for Kyle to come to him. “Can you do this?”

Kyle took the tube from him and unscrewed the cap. “Well, I don’t think it’s good for you to start cussing. If you do it at school, you’ll get in trouble.”

“I  _ don’t  _ do it at school,” he snapped, squeezing some of the toothpaste out onto the brush. He started to brush his teeth.

Kyle walked away, sighing.

-

Friday came, and after Ryan got off of the bus, Kyle helped him pack a bag to go to his mother’s house for the weekend. 

While they were in his bedroom, Kyle took this opportunity to ask more questions. “Do you like going to your mom’s house? Or would you rather stay with daddy on the weekends?” he asked, trying to comfort himself with the knowledge that he  _ wasn’t  _ sending someone’s kid with a child abuser and drug addict.

“I like Mom,” Ryan said, stuffing his tablet charger into his backpack. “Her girlfriend has a dog. A big one.”

“Yeah? You like animals, don’t you? Why doesn’t your daddy have a dog?”

Ryan looked up at him. “Can you stop calling him that?”

“What?”

“He’s not your daddy. He’s  _ my  _ dad. So stop.”

“Oh… um, okay. Why doesn’t he have a dog?” Kyle didn’t actually care, he was just making conversation, trying to find out more things about their weird, slightly dysfunctional family. 

Ryan shrugged. “Says a dog will scare Kiwi, but I think Kiwi will just leave him alone. Then he says we have enough pets.”

Kiwi must’ve been the name of the other cat. “That makes sense. Do you like Kiwi?”

“No. She scratches me, she only likes Dad. He says we have to keep her because of something about grandma. I forgot.” Ryan picked his backpack up and put it over his shoulders, sitting down on his bed and starting to tap his foot on the carpet. “She’s a bitch. One time, she scratched Dad’s hand so hard there was blood. It got in-fett-ed, that’s what he said, so he had to go to the doctor.”

Kyle’s eyes widened in surprise. No wonder the black cat was avoiding him so much- she hated humans. In fact, Kyle barely ever saw her when he was awake and in the house. He suspected that she came out from hiding whenever he left for his classes or fell asleep at night. “Dang. Are you scared of h-”

Before he could finish his sentence, there was a knock at the front door, which Kyle knew had to be Stan’s ex-wife. He stood up and walked to the kitchen, with Ryan following behind him.

Kyle opened the door, coming face-to-face with the woman and her supposed girlfriend. He wasn’t sure who was who- neither of them had ginger hair, and he didn’t have a description of what the ex-wife looked like, but it didn’t matter. Kyle smiled at both of them. “Hi, he’s all ready to go.”

The girl standing closest to him tilted her head, smiling back. “Wow. I knew something was up with him, but I didn’t expect Stan to be gay. How did you two meet?” she asked, letting out a small laugh. The woman had long, black hair, and wore a short red tank top. The woman behind her had long, blonde curly hair. Both of them were pretty attractive, in his opinion.

“Um…” Kyle said, his smile fading, unsure if he should correct her or not.

Thankfully, Ryan ran up to his mother, interrupting their conversation. The two of them hugged, while the blonde woman made eye contact with him. Kyle gave her a small wave, unsure of what to say. He didn’t even know their names- how was he supposed to make conversation?

Eventually the three of them left, and Kyle was thankful for all of it to be over. Now he could be alone for a while, study for some of his tests…

But first, he pulled out his phone. He had a text from Kenny and a text from Stan. Kyle opened Stan’s text first.

_ 3:34 PM _

**_Stan: Hey, just checking to see how things are doing._ **

**_Stan: Did Wendy look like she was using? (If she came over yet)_ **

So Wendy was her name. In a way, it fit her.

_ 4:56 PM _

**_Kyle: She seemed fine. I’m not sure what signs to look for though lol_ **

**_Kyle: Ryan is doing ok. The black cat has been hiding for the past few days. Ryan said the cat gave you… an infection once?_ **

_ 4:57 PM _

**_Stan: Haha yea_ **

**_Stan: I had to get a tetanus shot. That was two years ago though._ **

**_Stan: She’s vicious, has a hard time warming up to people so I wouldn’t be surprised if she still doesn’t trust you by the time I get back_ **

**_Stan: Don’t worry about it_ **

_ 4:57 PM _

**_Kyle: Jeez! I didn’t know cats could give people tetanus lol_ **

**_Kyle: Anyway_ **

**_Kyle: Your ex-wife thinks you’re gay now_ **

_ 4:58 PM _

**_Stan: Great?_ **

**_Stan: Also why_ **

_ 4:58 PM _

**_Kyle: Guess she assumed we were dating. I didn’t really get to correct her, sorry_ **

He put his phone back in his pocket, deciding that it was time to start studying. Kyle went to the bedroom and grabbed his backpack, returning to the kitchen and spreading out his papers and textbooks on the dining room table. As he sat down, he thought about their conversation- and why he had to babysit in the first place.

What kind of job did Stan have? Stan never really… specified.

Oh well. There was no point in worrying about it- he would find out soon enough, either by asking Ryan or talking to Stan about it himself. Kyle turned his phone on silent and got to studying.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BEFORE you read this chapter: if u didnt see the a/n a few days ago, i posted this chapter on accident without realizing that it was out of order. so if you didn't see the chapter before this, go back and read it
> 
> i start school tomorrow (not sure if i'm doing public or online school) so my updates MIGHT get slower (right now i'm posting one chapter a day between three fics) but we'll see what happens

Later that night, Kyle had decided he’d done enough studying throughout the day and deserved some well-needed rest. He gathered his textbooks and notebooks, piling them up in the corner of the dining room table before leaving the kitchen. He grabbed a pair of pyjamas from his backpack in the bedroom and went to take a shower.

Kyle turned the light on and stared at himself in the mirror, again wondering what kind of job Stan had. He pulled out his phone and opened his Photos app, looking at the screenshot of the original Craigslist ad. Stan didn’t mention what  _ kind  _ of job he had, just that he had to leave “town” for “work-related purposes.” He didn’t even say where he was going- not that Kyle expected him to, but… still. This guy was kind of mysterious.

He closed the picture and opened Instagram, deciding to text Kenny, thinking maybe the two of them could poke fun at it.

In the corner of his eye, something moved.

Kyle jumped, his head instinctively snapping toward the window. He remembered kicking the orange cat out earlier so he could go pee, and the black cat wanted nothing to do with him… so it wasn’t either of the pets. Ryan was still with Stan’s ex-wife, and even if he was in the house, there was no way it could be him. So maybe someone was outside?

Whether someone was outside or not, Kyle was thankful that he was still clothed. He decided to go outside and check. Kyle turned the bathroom light off and walked through the kitchen, grabbing a knife on his way out. He turned the corner, circling around to the side of the house the bathroom was on. 

He turned on the flash on his phone. Nobody was there.

_ Obviously. You’re being paranoid. _

He went back inside, dropped the knife back on the kitchen counter, and showered, desperately trying to clear his mind before he decided to go to sleep. Maybe he wouldn't sleep in Stan’s bedroom after all- laying on the couch with the TV on seemed like a better idea. He would feel less alone, and less paranoid. Or maybe he could invite Kenny over, he was sure Stan wouldn’t mind.

Kyle got out of the shower, yanking a towel off of the rack and wrapping it around himself. He stood in front of the shower, opening the medicine cabinet. Kyle heard a noise in the kitchen, but ignored it, knowing Kiwi was probably in there eating or something.

The distinct sound of the front door opening made him tense up. Kyle slammed the bathroom door shut, his eyes widening. Okay, someone was definitely watching him- but if they wanted to get away with it, why would they come  _ inside  _ the house? He dropped his towel and pulled his shorts on, not even bothering with underwear as he opened the bathroom door again. He crept into the hallway and made it back to the kitchen, where the door stood open. Vinny walked inside, unphased, meowing.

Kyle closed and locked the front door, making sure the chain lock was properly adjusted. “Are you okay, boy?” he said in a high-pitched voice, reaching out to pet the cat. The cat turned his head and pressed against Kyle’s hand, plopping down onto the ground and rolling on his back.

So, the cat was acting normal… but someone had picked the lock to let him in? Or maybe they just… busted the door open.

But why?

Kyle gave the cat a few belly scratches before standing back up and checking the rest of the house, including upstairs. The back door was still locked and deadbolted with a chain, which meant they hadn’t come through the back and left through the front, nor had they left through the back.

He was starting to think that maybe whoever was outside wanted to come into the house, either to rob him or kill him, and picked the lock on the door. They stepped inside, but… something made them stop. Right? Why else would they leave the door open? They wanted to make their presence known, they  _ wanted  _ him to be scared.

It was a mystery to him, and he was scared out of his fucking mind. He took the kitchen knife into the living room, dropped it on the coffee table, and went back into the bathroom to change. After he was finished getting into his pyjamas, he turned on the TV in the living room and wrapped the blanket around him, thankful when Vinny jumped onto his lap and immediately started purring. The fact that the cat was completely unphased by the front door opening made Kyle think that whoever had opened the front door, they had to be involved with Stan in some way. If it was a complete stranger, the cat would be scared off.

He picked his phone up, considering texting Stan. But what was he supposed to say?  _ Do you have a basement or attic, because I think there might be someone in your house?  _ Or,  _ Sorry, I was in the shower and someone watched me through the window and then opened the front door, and now I’m scared for my life and really don’t want to house sit for you anymore?  _ He wanted the money, and if Stan was going to go on another one of these ‘business trips’ anytime soon, he wanted to get paid for that too. Stan  _ needed  _ to have a good opinion of him if he was going to be considered to babysit and housesit a second time.

Putting his phone back on the table, he let his eyes focus in and out on the TV. If something like that happened again, he would text Stan. He promised himself he would.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi guys. started online school today, decided to go with english first. brutal mistake. i'm more stressed than i've ever been in my entire life. 
> 
> i hate english. i feel stupid.
> 
> that's it. if updates start ACTUALLY slowing down this time then i'm sorry

Wendy dropped Ryan back off at the house late on Sunday, and nothing out of the ordinary (like what went down on Friday) happened at all that week. Kyle was glad to start feeling safe in the house again.

Kyle helped Ryan on the bus that Wednesday, and he invited Kenny over so the two of them could study together. Honestly? Kyle was starting to miss the guy- aside from Kenny driving him to class and the grocery store, they were only able to talk through text messages and phone calls, but even those conversations didn’t last very long. He set out his textbooks and notebooks out on the table, taking a deep breath as he opened his notebook, searching for the notes he took yesterday in class.

“Where the hell does this guy work?”

He jumped, dropping the notebook he had been flipping through, turning to look at Kenny who had barged into the kitchen without any warning. “Oh, hey Ken. You scared the shit out of me.”

Kenny grinned, opening the fridge and grabbing a package of ham from the shelf. “Cool.” He sat down at the dining room table and stuck his hand in the package, pulling out a few slices and gobbling them down. “How’s the kid?” he asked.

“He’s good, he’s at school right now. Hey, do you have time to drive me to Kroger after this? I need to go, he’s running low on tempura chicken nuggets.” Tempura chicken nuggets was the only type of chicken Ryan would eat. He was okay with other meat, which was surprising, because most kids seemed to like chicken more.

“...Where do you get money for groceries?” he asked, swallowing his mouthful of ham.

Kyle set a water bottle down on the table, sitting down across from Kenny. “He PayPals it to me.”

“Kinda wish I had taken this job instead of telling you about it,” Kenny sighed. “Oh well. Good for you.” He set his backpack down on the kitchen floor and filed through it, pulling out a single textbook. “I don’t have anything major coming up, so..”

“Oh. That’s fine. Hey… how did your date go?” Kyle asked, smiling as he twisted the cap off of his water bottle. He took a swig, remembering how Kenny said he would have to get a ride with Cartman. Kyle ended up not going to that class anyway- he got the professor to send him some stuff on the topic they had been lectured about, and he got caught up in class the Monday after.

Kenny shrugged. “She wasn’t very… we weren’t compatible. But uh, anyway. I met a new guy on Tinder, I’m going on a date with him later tonight,” he answered, grinning wider. “He’s really hot.”

Kyle smiled back. “Good for you, dude.”

“So what about you? Your love life?”

“Uh, kind of taking care of a whole child right now. Plus groceries and college. I don’t really have time,” Kyle explained, taking another sip of water. He heard claws tapping on the kitchen tile behind him, and knew that Vinny was coming over to check out the stranger.

Kenny nodded underdingly. “Yeah, that sucks. Is the guy you’re house sitting for hot?”

“What?” Kyle asked, staring down at the cat as he nudged against Kenny’s leg.

He reached down to pet him, smiling when Vinny jumped on his lap. “Is he hot?”

“Uh, I don’t know?” Kyle asked, trying to think back to how he looked. “He just looks like.. a… normal person.”

“A hot normal person? I could only see him from a distance when I dropped you off, but he-”

“God. You’re horny,” Kyle scolded. “There are some pictures of him and his ex-wife in the living room, why don’t you go look at those and decide for yourself?”

Kenny scooped the cat up in his arms, standing up and leaving to go look in the living room. “Maybe I will.”

Kyle picked up his phone and scrolled through social media, waiting for Kenny to come back with the verdict. Honestly, he didn’t think much of Stan at first, aside from the strangeness of his job. “He  _ is  _ hot, dude.” Kenny came back from the living room, a picture of Stan and Wendy at their wedding in his hand, along with the cat nestled between his right arm and chest, who was okay with being picked up for some reason. “Look, okay. His facial shape. He’s clean shaven in this picture, but imagine if he had a stubble. Does the kid look like him at all?”

“Actually… no?” Kyle said. Ryan looked more like him than he looked like Stan, which was weird. Ryan was ginger. He didn’t have freckles, but if both Wendy and Stan had black hair, it only made sense that he would have black hair too, because ginger hair was a recessive trait. However, if they were both carriers…

Okay, the hair thing didn’t matter. Ryan just didn’t look like Stan, period. “Maybe he’s adopted. I don’t know why Stan and Wendy would adopt a kid at age 18, but uh… to each their own I guess.”

Kenny shrugged and set the framed photo down on the table. “You said the kid was like, ten? Maybe they adopted him when he was seven. It would make more sense.”

“Oh. Yeah.” Kyle felt stupid for not thinking of that. “You’re right. When he gets back, I’ll talk to h-”

There was a loud noise upstairs. Vinny struggled to get out of Kenny’s arms. He crouched down, freeing the cat. “What the fuck was that? Is someone else here?” Kenny asked, staring up at the ceiling.

Kyle’s eyes widened. There was always a chance it was just the black cat knocking shit over upstairs, but that was out of character for her, and considering what happened that one night… he knew what it had to be. Someone was either stalking him or fucking with him. “Uh. No, nobody else is here.” He grabbed a knife from the wooden block on the counter. Kenny gave him a puzzled look, but Kyle shrugged, starting to walk up the stairs. If it  _ was _ a person that came into their house, Kyle would have them outnumbered two to one, and if it was just the cat, it didn’t hurt to be safe.

He looked in Ryan’s room first, and was glad to find that nothing was amiss. Kyle moved to Stan’s bedroom and frowned; the window was open, but nobody was inside the house.

Kyle set the knife down on the bed and ran to the window, not seeing anything. There was no screen. He wasn’t exactly sure if there had been a screen before, though…

“So what happened?” Kenny asked from the doorway.

Kyle turned around to face him. What  _ did  _ happen? The window was open, and that was all. There seemed to be a trend with someone opening doors and windows, but if they didn’t intend on stealing anything, killing him, or just making him paranoid, he couldn’t understand why. And if they did want to kill him… why open doors and windows? That would just encourage him to change the locks. “I don’t know, Kenny. Something like that happened a few days ago- wait. It was um, Friday. The ninth… except it was the front door, not the window. But nobody was in the house.”

_ “Holy shit _ . Why didn’t you call the police?” Kenny asked, moving to close the window. “Did you tell the dude?”

Kyle rolled his eyes. “I didn’t tell ‘the dude’. And his name is Stan. I don’t think he would want me to watch his kid anymore if I was getting paranoid.”

“...But someone, like… opened the front door. And the window. You need to tell him, it doesn’t matter if he thinks you’re paranoid, because it actually happened. I’ll be a witness, if you want. But someone is fucking with you, dude.”

Kenny was right, but he didn’t want to admit that. “Okay. Fine.” Kyle sat down on Stan’s bed, avoiding the knife, and pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I’ll text him.”

“This isn’t really a good subject to talk about over text message. You need to call him.”

“Well, it would make more sense to call the police, wouldn’t it? And I’m not in immediate danger.” Kyle opened his messages.

_ 10:04 AM _

**_Kyle: Hey, just want to run something by you_ **

**_Kyle: I would’ve told you earlier but I was scared you wouldn’t believe me. On the 9th Ryan was with his mother and I was taking a shower, I saw someone moving outside of the window but figured it was nothing. I got out of the shower & the front door opened and the cat was just walking inside._ **

**_Kyle: Looked all over the house, nobody was inside, the back door & windows weren’t open so I re-locked the doors & went to sleep_ **

“You’re not doing a very good job. Let me text him,” Kenny said.

“No.” Kyle looked back down at his phone

_ 10:04 AM _

**_Kyle: This morning, he got on the bus and I invited a friend over, there was a loud noise upstairs, we went into your bedroom and the door was open but nothing else. Nobody was inside, no glass broken, nothing taken, etc._ **

**_Kyle: Is there anyone with a key to your house that could be doing this? Don’t mean to worry you but I want you to know in case it escalates_ **

Kenny sighed, watching Kyle put his phone away. “You make it sound like it’s not a big deal.”

“Well? I’m not being held at gunpoint, there’s nobody in the house, and I haven’t had any death threats.”

“But someone has picked the lock to your front door. And now you know not even the windows are safe. Do you realize you could go to bed tonight and never wake up?”

Kyle looked away. “You’re not helping, dude. At all. And I’m not gonna die, if there’s another noise I’ll hear it.”

“Not if you’re passed out. I know you’re a light sleeper, but that’s not an excuse.”

“If they wanted to kill me, don’t you think they would’ve made a move already? They had plenty of opportunities.”

Shaking his head, Kenny grabbed the knife and left the bedroom. Kyle followed him. “God, I swear you are so stupid sometimes. Someone is trying to kill you, or rob you, or maybe the fucking  _ kid  _ that you’re taking care of right now, and you think they won’t do anything? Criminals are unhinged, Kyle. They’re not just gonna stop because you see them and have a knife. What’s a kitchen knife going to do when they have a fucking gun?”

He pursed his lips together. Everything that Kenny was saying was starting to sink in, but he still felt as if he were safe. “Okay. Yeah. If Stan doesn’t come back to the house, I’ll call the police and have them… investigate.”

“Good. Finally you come to your senses.” Kenny dropped the kitchen knife back into the wooden block. “There isn’t anyone that you know that would pull this type of shit?”

“No? I don’t think Stan would stalk me for any reason, plus he’s out of town, and it’s obviously not you.”

Kenny sat down at the dining room table. “Well, shit. I don’t know either.” He stared at the half-empty package of ham on the table. “Do you want me to stay here with you? Until Stan comes, or you call the police?”

“...Yeah, sure.”

“Cool. We should study now, unless you want to call them now.”

Kyle wanted to wait and see what Stan told him to do. If Stan came back to town, or it was just  _ another  _ ex of Stan’s being creepy, he would be fine. “No, no. Let’s study.” He slid his textbook across the table towards Kenny. “It’s page 128.”


	7. Chapter 7

_ 5:10 PM _

_ Missed call _

**_Stan: No??_ **

**_Stan: What the fuck? Are you okay?_ **

**_Stan: Nobody I know about would do that_ **

**_Stan: You need to call me_ **

**_Stan: Right now_ **

Kyle saw the messages thirty minutes later, and felt bad when he saw that he had a missed call from Stan. He shouldn’t have had his phone on silent, but he and Kenny had  _ actually  _ gotten around to studying after Ryan came home from school and Kyle made him dinner, and his phone was distracting him. Kyle hit the call button and raised his phone to his ear, watching Kenny raise an eyebrow from the other side of the table. “It’s Stan,” he explained, turning away.

Stan picked up. “Hello?”

“Yeah, hi. Sorry, I didn’t see the messages, I was cooking and helping him with homework…” Both of those were true, although Stan had messaged him when he was studying. “Um, we’re okay.”

“Okay, okay. Good. Why didn’t you call the police when it happened?”

Kyle shrugged, but remembered he was speaking on the phone. “...I-” he spoke, unsure. “I thought the first time wasn’t a big deal, like… okay, yeah. You’re right. I should’ve called the first time, but I was worried nobody would believe me because I didn’t…  _ see  _ anyone. And this isn’t my house. And I don’t, um. Like the police.”

He took a deep breath on the other end of the line. “Okay, well… do you need me to come home? If it happens again while you’re there, yeah. Call the police. If they do anything against your rights, you can sue them. I’ll back you up if you give them my number.”

Kyle paused. He wasn’t sure if he wanted Stan to come back- he needed the money, and didn’t want Stan to stop trusting him or think that he was unreliable. “I don’t really- feel like I’m in danger? Uh… is your job… important? I have a friend staying with me, so if you don’t want to, it’ll be okay-”

“It doesn’t matter. If someone’s watching you I need to come home.”

“Uh.” Kyle gave Kenny a worried glance. “Well, yeah, someone is definitely fucking with me, but…”

“Then I’m coming home. It won’t be for long, unless we can’t catch the guy, so don’t start packing, okay?” Stan explained. Kyle could hear people talking in the background, and wondered where he was. Had he interrupted this guy’s meeting? No, it was 5 PM. Did he interrupt a  _ date?  _ His dinner?

Kyle chewed the inside of his cheek. “Yeah, okay. I won’t pack. Thank you,” he spoke, glancing at Kenny again. Okay, so everything was resolved- unless Stan came home tonight and started yelling at him for not calling the police sooner. Then it would not be resolved. “How long will it take you to come back here?”

‘...Four hours, maybe?”

That wasn’t so bad. “Oh. I was expecting you to be further away… where are you right now?”

“Just Aspen. I say four hours because traffic might be bad.”

“Oh.” He was tempted to ask why he was in Aspen to begin with, but didn’t want to intrude. “Okay, sounds good. I’ll see you later then, okay?”

Stan took a moment to respond over the line. “Yeah. Yeah. I’ll text Ryan about it, you don’t have to explain everything to him if you don’t want to.”

Kyle blinked. “He has a phone?”

“No, he uses Facebook on his tablet. Weird, I know. Ten year olds don’t need Facebook, I don’t know why he insisted on having one.. anyway. I’ll see you.”

“Okay. You too.”

Stan hung up. Kyle turned his phone off and set it face-down on the table. “He’s coming back, he’ll be here in like, four hours or so…”

“Need me to leave?”

“Mmm...no. You could help me clean?” Kyle asked with a shrug. “Only the kitchen and St-”

Kenny smiled and stood up. “Yeah, I’m good. I have a date later tonight anyway, remember? With the hot guy?”

“Oh. Yeah, alright, I’ll text you when he gets here, okay?” Kyle couldn’t really blame him for leaving- he knew Kenny hated cleaning, and he did have other stuff to do.

He picked up his backpack and shoved his textbook inside. “Cool. Can I take some food?”

Kyle shrugged again. He didn’t think Stan would mind- not that he would know anyway. Kenny rummaged through the cabinets, and Kyle made his way upstairs, stripping the sheets and pillowcases off of Stan’s bed and throwing them in the washer. They didn’t smell bad, but he wanted to clean them anyway to make a good impression on him. That’s where he would be sleeping, after all.

While the sheets and pillowcases were in the washer, he moved to the kitchen, starting with the top of the oven. Kyle had no clue how he let the burners get that bad.

-

Kyle was finishing up in Stan’s bedroom when the front door opened. He tensed up, and for a moment wondered if he should call the police- before remembering that Stan was probably home. He spread out the new blanket on his bed and went down the stairs, relieved to see Ryan in the kitchen, hugging his father. Stan smiled down at him. “Hey, punk, did you miss me?”

“No,” he said.

Stan frowned. “What. Why not?”

“You yell at me. Kyle doesn’t.”

Stan sighed, before looking up and seeing Kyle. “Hey,” he greeted, smiling. He looked around for a moment, his arms still around Ryan. “Wow, it’s… clean in here. Thanks?”

Kyle smiled back, putting his hands on his hips. “Yeah, no problem. Um… so I was wondering, sorry if this seems nosy, but… what’s your job?”

Stan stood up when Ryan let go of him. “Nah, it’s fine. I’m a lawyer, so I need to be back before Monday if I want to keep the case.”

He nodded slowly, watching as Ryan went back to the living room. “Okay. So.. our plan is to wait until something happens again? And then call the police?”

“I guess so,” he replied, setting his bag and suitcase down in the corner. Stan was still wearing a suit, which Kyle found weird, because it had only been 5 PM when he left. Kyle decided to ignore it. “I’m gonna take a shower, I’ll be out in a bit.” Stan headed upstairs to get clothes to change into. Kyle turned away from the staircase, realizing what Kenny said earlier that day was true- Stan  _ was…  _ hot. But not in an actor way. Still, he wasn’t going to go for it- that would be weird.

Kyle put the kid to bed before Stan could get out of the shower since it was already past his bedtime. He was surprised to find that Stan was actually laying on the couch when he came out of Ryan’s room, a blanket over him, Kiwi curled up in his lap- that was the first time Kyle had seen her in a while. She stood up when Kyle came into the living room, though, and moved to the other end of the couch to get away from him. “Uh… hey, you’re not sleeping in your room? I was gonna take the couch.”

“Oh, no. It’s fine, you’ve already been sleeping there, and… you’re the guest.”

“But this is your house.”

“Come on. It’s fine,” Stan said, sitting up and pulling the cat back onto his chest. “Can you turn the light off?”

Kyle blinked. “Uh.. yeah, fine. Are you sure?”

“Yep.”

“Okay… wow. Thanks, you’re… really nice.”

Stan smiled and waved him away. “It’s fine. Sleep well, okay? Tell me if you hear anything.”

“I will.” Kyle climbed the stairs, smiling as the orange cat stood up in the kitchen and started to follow him to the second floor. He got changed and slipped between the clean blanket and sheets, falling asleep with Vinny down at his feet.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw; MENTION of rape, mention of stabbing/assault

Kyle woke up late, rays of sunshine streaming into Stan’s bedroom as he sat up. He started to panic, turning to look at the alarm clock. Why hadn’t it gone off at 6:30 like it usually did? Ryan was gonna be late for school now, he definitely already missed the bus at this time. Dammit.

He slung his feet over the edge of the bed and left Stan’s bedroom. Kyle wasn’t even sure what he would say to Stan-  _ hey, sorry, your alarm clock happened to not go off for the first time in two weeks but it’s also somehow not my fault?  _ He felt like an idiot- Stan was definitely going to find a new babysitter after this. Maybe he would get paid, and maybe he wouldn’t. It didn’t matter either way. He seriously was not fit to take care of a kid, which was a shame. He needed that money.

Kyle got downstairs to the kitchen, surprised that Stan was up, drinking coffee at the dining room table. Kyle smiled nervously. “I’m sorry, I slept in, I know it sounds stupid, but the alarm clock didn’t go off, I didn’t mean for-”

Stan looked up from his phone. “I did it. Don’t worry.”

“What?” Kyle asked, sitting down at the opposite side of the table. “You turned it off.”

“Yep.”

Kyle chewed his lip. “Why? Did you want to get him ready for school?”

“...I did. And I figured you should sleep in. I mean, you’ve been taking care of him for two weeks. You’re probably tired of waking up at six every day, right?”

He sighed in relief. “I guess? But that doesn’t… you’re the one paying me. And  _ you’ve _ been at work for the past two weeks.” Kyle stood back up, turning down the hallway. “God, you’re weird,” he called out, shutting the bathroom door.

Stan only smiled, shaking his head and taking another swig of coffee. Kyle used the bathroom and brushed his teeth, returning to the kitchen when he was finished, still in his pyjamas. “So… what if the guy sees your car in the driveway and knows you’re at home?” Kyle said, standing in the hallway. “He won’t try anything again, like, breaking in or whatever. You could move it if you want… to actually catch him.”

“Oh.. you’re completely right. I didn’t think of that,” Stan admitted, his gaze falling on the stove next to Kyle. “I cooked earlier, there are some leftovers if you’re hungry. I’ll go move the car.”

Kyle nodded, looking down at the stove as Stan left to put on his shoes and move the car. Pancakes and bacon. He grabbed a plate from the cabinet and ate what was left.

-

Although it was a weekday, neither Kyle nor Stan had done anything productive. The two of them spent the hours between breakfast and lunch sitting on the couch, watching Catfish and talking, mostly about Kyle’s classes. 

“So- what kind of case are you doing?” Kyle asked, tearing his eyes away from the TV screen. He was nestled on one arm of the couch, the orange cat next to him. Vinny repositioned himself and pressed his head up against Kyle’s hand whenever he stopped petting him. “It must be complicated if it lasts for a month.”

Stan met his eyes. “Oh, aggravated assault with a deadly weapon. A guy stabbed his mom.”

“...Shit,” he murmured, looking away. Kyle knew lawyers sometimes got violent cases, but it still threw him off a little- maybe it was the fact that Stan talked about it so casually. But it was his job, wasn’t it? “What side are you on?”

“Um, I’m defending him. Pleading mental illness.”

Kyle shook his head. “Yikes.”

“Yeah, I know. It’s not going too well, he’s probably going to get locked up.” Stan paused, as if he said something wrong. “I mean, when I go back, I’m obviously going to do my job… but I think he’s guilty. He’s out on bail, though.”

“Oh, no, no. I get it. It’s fine.” He narrowed his eyes, looking back at Stan. “Um, you’re allowed to tell me his name, right?”

Stan nodded. “I can.. why?”

“Just want to see.”

“Eric Cartman?”

Kyle’s heart stopped in his chest. “Wait. No, are you sure?”

“What? Why wouldn’t I be sure? That’s him.” He pulled his legs up onto the couch, staring back at Kyle. “Does the name sound familiar, or…?”

Kyle stood up. “I  _ know  _ him. He goes to my fucking college. Or, um, went.” He entered the kitchen, grabbing his phone from the dining room table and opening his text conversation with Kenny.

_ 10:43 _

**_Kyle: Dude. I know who’s fucking watching me and opening doors and shit now_ **

“Wait, you knew him? Do you think he’s- like..?” Stan called from the living room, standing up and walking through the hallway.

Kyle nodded vigorously, setting his phone down and turning it off. “It’s him. When I met him in my freshman year, he was really creepy. Tons of girls in my year said that he tried to rape them. It’s gotta be him.”

“Wow. I wouldn’t put it past him to do something like that. Uh… I don’t know if we should call without evidence, though.”

“Damn,” Kyle said. “Maybe security cameras?”

Stan shook his head. “Where at? He tried the front door and the second floor window, I don’t know where he would go next. I mean, I can put one in the front door. Maybe it’ll show his car if he happens to drive by.” He paused. “...He seriously tried to climb through a second story window in broad daylight?”

Kyle snickered. “Yeah. Kenny was there, I don’t know why he would try that… there was a loud noise, like he fell on the floor while trying to get inside or something? Probably why he backed out so fast.”

“..Jeez.”

“Well, I’m glad I know who it is, at least.”

Stan smiled. “Me too. If the police don’t do anything the next time he comes, I’ll get cameras, okay?”

“Okay. But what if he doesn’t try a second time?”

“...I don’t know. We’ll figure it out from there. Uh, you wanna go back to watching Catfish?”

Kyle grinned back. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.”


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i don't know where this plot is going but im here for it

Kyle tied the bag up and pulled it out of the trash can, hoisting it over his shoulder and leaving through the front door. The sun was just starting to set, the air growing humid. The three of them just cleaned up after dinner, and Stan was helping Ryan with his homework in the living room.

He went around to the side of the building to get to the trash can, when he saw Eric Cartman staring through the window, watching Stan and Ryan. Kyle dropped the trash bag. “Cartman!” he snapped, speed-walking towards him.

Cartman made eye contact with him. “Oh, hey, Kahl. I was wondering why you were here.”

“What the  _ fuck? _ ” he hissed, shoving Cartman against the ridged house siding. “You can’t stalk people. That’s fucking insane. Why were you trying to get inside his house last week?”

Cartman stared at him, not seeming intimidated. “Why are you in his house? Fucking him?”

“No. I’m not  _ fucking  _ him. I was babysitting his fucking  _ kid  _ until you tried to break into his house, and now he’s back here because I was convinced I had a stalker, dipshit.” Kyle had his hands over Cartman’s collarbone, keeping him pinned to the side of the house. “You stabbed your mom?”

“Yeah. And I could stab you too, so let me do what I need to do,” he threatened, staring up at him. “You’re not scary.”

Kyle rolled his eyes. Cartman might’ve had a knife on him, but if he wanted to have any chance of staying out of jail, he wouldn’t stab him. “What is it that you need to do, exactly?”

“He’s sabotaging my case. I need to prove it.”

“Stan isn’t  _ sabotaging  _ it. Your case was hopeless to begin with. You fucking stabbed your mom, idiot. And you think watching him at his house will help anything? Don’t you think he would keep his documents in an office or some shit?” As soon as Kyle finished his sentence, Cartman reached for his pocket and pulled out a switchblade, flicking it open. He shredded the skin on Kyle’s forearm open, but Kyle reacted almost immediately, tearing both of his arms away.

Kyle winced and let out an indistinguishable noise, pressing his forearm up against his t-shirt in an attempt to dull the searing pain. Cartman made a run for it, but Kyle chased after him, managing to tackle him on the sidewalk… in front of the whole neighborhood. People were watching them, but Kyle didn’t care- he had to keep him in the area if he were going to call the police.

Then he realized that his phone was back inside the house, on the dining room table.

Shit.

As Cartman fell to the pavement, he heard a sharp cracking noise, but ignored it. The only pain he felt was from his right forearm, so whatever bone that snapped was probably Cartman’s. Kyle held both of his arms down.

“Let me go, Jew,” Cartman muttered, struggling to get up. Kyle ignored the sharp pains coming from his arm and grit his teeth. He held Cartman’s upper legs down with his knees, but not very successfully, because Cartman managed to overthrow him and kick him in the gut.

His skull hit the edge of the sidewalk.

_ Crack. _

-

Kyle woke up in the hospital.

The first thing on his mind was the interaction between him and Cartman, so he wasn’t necessarily surprised to be in a hospital. He was, however, surprised to see Stan and Ryan sitting around him in the hospital bed, Ryan on his tablet and Stan staring down at the tile. Stan looked up when Kyle moved his head, though, and smiled. “Hey.”

“Um, hi.” Kyle remembered the gash underneath his right forearm and lifted it up above the blanket. It was bandaged, and the blood didn’t seem to be leaking through yet.

“We can leave. I know you feel like shit, the doctors gave you pain meds, okay? I’ll pick them up on our way home.”

_ Pain meds…  _ for the cut? “Sure. Did you get him?”

“Cartman?”

Kyle nodded, but felt a sharp pain near the back of his head. He squeezed his eyes shut and waited until the pain passed. “Yeah. Cartman. Is he, uh, did he get caught.”

“I called the police. He’s in police custody now, I don’t think they’ll let him out on bail again. Unless they’re deranged.” Stan stood up, his son staring intensely at the tablet from behind him, earbuds in. Stan helped Kyle stand up and pull his underwear and pants back on, which somehow wasn’t as awkward as Kyle thought it would be. He decided to leave his bloody shirt in the bag the doctors had put it in.

After Kyle slipped his shoes on, they left the room and walked to the parking lot. “So, they said that you had a minor skull fracture. I managed to get the police off of your ass for now, if you want to give a statement you can go down to the station.. but they talked to the neighbors to get the story so you’re good. Uh, you shouldn’t have any issues with the… fracture.”

Kyle narrowed his eyes. “Aren’t those, like, serious?”

“Guess not,” he said, putting his arm around Ryan’s shoulders to catch him up. “I’ll help you with the cut.”

“No, no,” Kyle replied, shaking his head with a smile. “It’s just a cut. And you need to go back to work. Put that cunt in jail, okay?”

Stan descended the stairs, adjusting his grip on Ryan’s arm as he helped him down. “He’ll go to jail whether I’m there or not. And you don’t know how the pain meds will make you feel. What if you’re loopy all the time?”

“I’ll be fine.”

“It’s my house. You can’t just kick me out,” he teased, pulling his keys out of his pocket and turning his car on. The three of them got inside, drove to the pharmacy, and then to Stan’s house, where Kyle once again fell asleep in Stan’s bed, only after taking the pain pills and reluctantly letting Stan change his bandages and re-disinfect his cut “just to be safe.” 


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hii guys, i know i havent updated normally and the quality and length of these chapters are deteriorating lmao but i am burnt out of this fic so it's probably going to end soon. i'm going through stuff irl (nothing extreme dont worry) so i might take a break from ao3 for a bit.
> 
> that's all bye

With Cartman in jail, the pain on the right side of Kyle’s head slowly dissolving, and his wound healing, there really was no logical reason for Stan to stay at home and take care of him anymore.

It was disappointing, but Stan said he had to leave to continue Cartman’s case in Aspen. Strangely enough, he liked having Stan around. He liked pretending that he was needed at the house. Which.. he wasn’t. If anything, he should’ve gone back to his own dorm when Cartman started sketching him out, But for some reason, Stan insisted on keeping him around, and Kyle was glad for it. He didn’t want to go back to his dorm. Nothing was particularly wrong with Kenny, but the dorm was too small, it made him feel almost claustrophobic, buried underneath piles of schoolwork, textbooks, and empty bowls of ramen. Kenny loved that shit, and the smell of synthetic beef flavor was starting to give him a headache before Stan’s Craigslist ad came to save the day.

“Don’t attract any more stalkers, okay?” Stan joked as he unwrapped Kyle’s bandage from his arm. Although Kyle was mentally and physically fit to do so, Stan still insisted on changing Kyle’s bandage himself every time blood soaked through the bottom, or enough time passed to need to change it.

A smile came across Kyle’s lips as Stan looked down at his forearm, washing away the old blood with a damp cloth. “I promise.” He paused. “Wait, that wasn’t even my fault. It was yours. Cartman is your client.”

Stan glared at him. “Don’t put that on me.”

Kyle’s smile widened. “Don’t put it on me, either.” He watched as Stan wrapped the bandage back around his forearm, tucking the loose end into the folded fabric to make sure it wouldn’t unravel. A warm, fuzzy feeling erupted in Kyle’s body. He was being  _ taken care  _ of. 

“Well, I’ll see you. You can invite your boyfriend back over here if you want. Until I get back.” Stan stood up, turning to leave the bedroom.

Kyle continued to smile, confused. “Boyfriend?”

“The one you had over before I got here?”

“No. We’re not together, that’s my dorm mate. I’m not dating anyone,” he said, standing up from the bed. “Why?”

Stan turned back around. “So you’re single?”

“Yeah?” Kyle asked. He wanted to make some kind of comment, like  _ you’re too old for me,  _ but he didn’t want to piss Stan off or discourage him. It wasn’t true, anyway. He was twenty, and Stan was twenty-five.

So was Stan flirting? Or just generally curious?

He decided to flirt back and test the waters. “Yeah,” he repeated. “I am single. Why?”

Stan shrugged. “Just assumed you’d be with someone,” he explained, raising his eyebrows. “Did I get your hopes up? Thought I was interested?” Stan teased.

“...Maybe.”

Picking up his suitcase next to the dresser, Stan stood up straight. “Aw. That’s cute,” he smiled. “Well, I’ll see you on the 29th. Text me if you need anything.” Kyle gave him a small nod, and Stan nodded back, leaving the room and descending the staircase.

Kyle looked away, straining to hear Stan say goodbye to his son downstairs.

_ Did  _ Stan like him?

His face reddened, trying to re-think their conversation. Maybe he did. Bringing up Kenny was a subtle way to imply he wanted to know, although maybe… Kyle was just overthinking it.

If he didn’t, why would he flirt? Or even jokingly flirt?

Kyle plopped down onto the bed face-first, his arm landing underneath him. He let out a small cry of pain and moved it next to his head, smothering his face in the mattress. Stan would probably want to talk about it when he got back.

He hoped.


	11. Chapter 11

The case concluded on October 28th.

Stan came home around 10 AM that day, Ryan in the passenger’s seat. Kyle sat on the front porch, a cup of coffee in his hand, feeling the cold October wind graze against his arms and legs. Stan parked the car and got out, walking across the cracked, gritty pavement to open Ryan’s door for him.

“Hi Kyle!” Ryan greeted, staring at him as he got out of the car, taking Stan’s hand and climbing up onto the porch. 

Smiling, Kyle set his cup of coffee down next to his chair and stood up. “Hey.. skipping school?” he asked, making eye contact with Stan. Kyle thought the moment felt all too much like the beginning of a Hallmark movie- not that he was complaining.

“Yep. We’re skipping today, gonna go get him a Halloween costume.” Stan looked down at Ryan. “Put… hey, leave your backpack in the living room and go use the bathroom, okay?” Nodding, Ryan climbed another step and opened the front door, running inside.

Stan looked at him. “He wants to be Kurt Cobain.”

“...He knows that he’s dead, right?”

Stan nodded, sitting down on the other porch chair. “He thinks someone killed him and faked his suicide. He read it somewhere.” He shook his head. “I mean, Kurt Cobain is cool and all, and it’s one of his special interests, but he’s nine.”

He let out a soft chuckle. “Sorry… wow. Yeah. But he’s getting about that age where he turns emo and starts obsessing over death. It’s gonna happen eventually.”

“God. I’m not ready for an emo phase,” Stan smiled back. “Mine was bad in high school.”

“What? I can’t imagine you having an emo phase.” Ryan opened the door, standing in the doorway, his backpack on the dining room table behind him. Kyle pursed his lips together- now that Stan was back permanently, he would have to leave.

Stan shrugged. “I have pictures on my old MySpace account. Trust me. It was bad. You ready?” he asked Ryan, standing back up and picking his keys off of the armrest. 

Ryan nodded vigorously. “I have been. I didn’t need to pee,” he corrected.

“Sure you didn’t.” Stan looked over at Kyle. “Do you wanna come with us?”

Kyle opened his mouth to answer. He did want to, but was he overstaying his visit? How long would it take until Stan got sick of him? Sticking around longer than he had to felt weird, as much as he wanted to spend time with Stan and his son. “Um.. I’m okay, but thanks,” he said, smiling.

“Really? You sure you don’t want to?”

“No, I actually have a lot of work to do, sorry. Essays and stuff,” he lied. “Kenny will pick me up soon, so…”

Stan nodded. “Okay. I get it. If I have to leave town again, are you still open to watching him?”

“Yeah! Of course I am. When do you think you’ll have to leave?”

Shrugging, Stan turned around and stepped off of the porch, Ryan following behind him. “Might be January or so, I’m not taking any heavy cases in the next few months. I’ll text you.”

Kyle smiled. “Alright. Well, I’ll see you guys soon, I guess?”

Stan turned around and smiled back. “Yeah, you too.” Kyle watched as both of them got into the car, Ryan waving through the window as Stan pulled away. Kyle waved back, and once they were out of sight, he sunk back into his chair and pulled his phone out, texting Kenny to pick him up.

He gnawed on the inside of his cheek, waiting until motivation hit him to go back inside and gather his things together. 


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i promise i didn't give up on y'all, i wrote like 400 words of this chapter and got super frustrated for no reason and kind of punched stuff and then um i had a family emergency yesterday but i'm good now! this fic wears me out so i don't know how often updates will be but this fic will be ending soon :)

Kyle didn’t expect to see Stan again until January, or until Stan had another work-related trip to take. As he waited for January to come around, he busied himself with a minimum wage job. Just because he got a good pay once didn’t mean that it would happen again, or that Stan would ever invite him back to babysit. Maybe Stan hated him. Who knew?

Fortunately for Kyle, though.. Ryan missed him. Which was why he got invited to his tenth birthday.

Stan texted him late one night, explaining that Ryan wanted him to come, and he was free to do so if he wanted. Kyle said yes as soon as he saw the message. Obviously. He had an opportunity to be around Stan again, and what type of person would he be to turn down a little kid’s birthday party?

And if Stan was inviting him over again, that meant Stan must’ve wanted at least  _ something  _ to do with him.

On November twenty-first, Kyle took the car to go to the party, thankful that he had no classes on the weekends. He wasn’t particularly excited to be surrounded by ten year olds, but of course.. Stan. Maybe something would happen between them.

Probably not, if Kyle was being realistic. If Stan liked him, he would’ve made a move sooner, unless this birthday party was another attempt at getting closer to him. (He knew it wasn’t. He just wanted to think hopefully.) Kyle parked somewhere on the street and got out of the car, pocketing his keys and walking up to Stan’s house. 

He twisted the doorknob once he was on the front porch, deciding to let himself in, since it was a birthday party and all. Plus, he didn’t want to feel dumb.

Inside, Stan was on the living room floor with a rag and a trashbag, cleaning something out of the carpet. He looked up at Kyle, caught off-guard. “Oh, shit. Hey. You’re early,” Stan smiled.

Kyle stepped closer, amused. “What is that?”

“Bugs. He caught a bunch of grasshoppers and got dirt everywhere, I told him he couldn’t keep them but he brought them inside anyway,” Stan sighed. “You’re like, an hour early. Did you want to talk?”

“...No. I figured you could use some help, I dunno,” Kyle said, letting his hip rest against the dining room table. “Want me to clean it? You must have other things to do.”

Stan shook his head. “Not your mess to clean. If you want to help, you could go upstairs and make sure he’s actually in the shower.”

Kyle went upstairs, making sure Ryan was cleaning himself up. He heard the faucet stop and Ryan’s feet squeaking around on the bottom of the tub. He left the hallway, going back to Stan. “He is.”

“Cool.” By then, Stan was finished getting the dirt out of the carpet, but was still kneeled down in front of the damp spot.

“Anything else I can do?” Kyle asked. He kind of felt like a tool, though he didn’t want to sit around and be… useless. He just wanted Stan to  _ like  _ him, goddamn it, and stop acting so indifferent towards everything. Crouching down, Kyle looked Stan in the eyes. “You okay?”

Stan shook his head gently, picking up the stain remover, the plastic bag, and the rag that he used to get the dirt out. “Yeah, yeah, I’ll be okay. Uh... I don’t know.”

“You need to talk about something?” Kyle said, concerned. He chewed on his fingernail as he watched Stan disappear into the laundry room and come back out. without the rag and fabric cleaner this time. Now that he was worried, he could tell Stan’s face was abnormally gloomy. “Or are you stressed? I can watch him tonight if you need some time for yourse-”

“He’s not mine,” Stan blurted. “He’s fucking not. Wendy told me. She cheated.”

That was the last thing Kyle expected to come out of his mouth, but it did make sense. “Well, he’s still  _ yours,  _ just not genetically. You’re a better parent to him than she’ll ever be.”

He chewed on his lip. “I know… shit just sucks. And she waited so long to tell me, too. I don’t get it.”

Frowning, Kyle stepped forward and, without thinking, hugged him. If he had any amount of sense in him, he wouldn’t have done it, but he wanted to make Stan feel better.

Stan hugged back. He would be a douche not to, Kyle knew that, but he was hopeful that it would help.

“Thanks,” he whispered once Kyle pulled away. “I actually needed that.” He seemed on the verge of tears.

“Anytime,” Kyle smiled, and he meant it. It kind of pissed him off, knowing that Wendy waited ten years to tell Stan the truth. 

Stan started to say something else, but Ryan came running down the stairs, catching his attention. “Dad, when are they going to be here? Oh- hi Kyle. Dad said you probably wouldn’t come.”

Wow. Brutally honest.

“I told you, we have to get ready first. I know you’re excited but it-”

“I  _ am  _ ready,” he urged. “It’s just you that isn’t. You need to learn to manage your time better.”

Stan looked shocked for a moment, but he then laughed, covering his hand with his mouth. “Oh my god,” he spoke, smiling as he lowered his hand down to his side. “Okay. You’re right.”

“So  _ do it!”  _ Ryan reminded him, his eyes wide. “I want to see Brodin.”

“...Okay, I’ll hurry, but it doesn’t start until four,” Stan reminded him- not that it meant anything, because Ryan went running back up the stairs. “Kyle, are, um, you good at frosting cakes?” Stan asked. “It’s either that or clean the kitchen. If you want to help.”

Kyle frosted the cake as Stan cleaned the kitchen, both of them alternating between Kyle’s playlist and Stan’s playlist as they did so. Stan claimed Kyle’s taste in music was trash, and Kyle insisted that his was better, so after he finished frosting the cake, he pressed the candles into the top and sat down at the dining room table, watching Stan clean. There was no music, although they didn’t need any- Kyle’s laughter as Stan ridiculed him for his music taste was enough.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yoo you get a little bit of stans pov ;)

Ryan ended up inviting five of his classmates, and three of them were supposed to spend the night, which meant a middle-aged couple and a single mother ended up hanging out with Stan and Kyle downstairs so they could take their kids back home when it was ‘time to go.’ When all of the kids arrived, they all raced upstairs to take turns playing video games, and decided to eat pizza and cake later, though one of the girls, Kyle remembered, was adamant on eating cake before they did anything else.

As the children entertained themselves upstairs, Stan, Kyle, and the other parents sat in the living room, talking. It was too late in the evening for coffee, but too early for alcohol (plus, two of them were driving, and Stan had to watch the kids later,) so they settled on tea, and the husband (Kyle learned that his name was Roger) sipped on a can of diet Mountain Dew.

Unfortunately for Kyle, Stan knew all of the parents beforehand, so while they talked about their children, and work, and what their plans were for the holidays, Kyle was left out, and he didn’t have a child of his own to insert himself into the conversation. He spent most of the time nodding along and adding what he could, but the single mother was blatantly flirting with Stan and giving Kyle the stink-eye, so he was relieved when one of the kids screamed from upstairs and he had an excuse to leave the living room without seeming rude.

Kyle ran up the stairs, knowing that it was no emergency. He stopped in Ryan’s doorway and stared at them. They all seemed to be okay- while four of them played some video game that Kyle couldn’t identify, the other two sat in the corner, giggling at something on their phone. There was some bickering, but nobody was hurt or still screaming.

He took a step forward. “Does anybody want pizza?”

Most of them agreed, saying they were hungry, so they all ate pizza (Stan had to buy five frozen pizzas that morning) and eventually got to opening presents, and after that, eating cake. Things were going smoothly. The sun started to set, sending sporadic thick rays of light into the kitchen windows, and Kyle started to wonder where he would be sleeping- if he was staying the night at all. It didn’t seem right for him to stay, but Stan did have his hands full and he wanted to be around to help. Ryan’s room was big enough for all of the kids staying, but Kyle thought they would end up in the living room anyway, and Stan didn’t have a guest room. Kyle figured, worst case scenario, Stan wouldn’t want him to stay, and he could drive back to his dorm room and finish up some reading he had to do for class.

Kyle managed to stomach the rest of the birthday cake, not being a fan of overly-sweet things, and scraped the crumbs off in the trash. Ryan and his friends went back upstairs after finishing off their plates, leaving Stan and Kyle in the kitchen, alone.

As Stan did the dishes, Kyle threw away the wrapping paper and wiped up a puddle of spilled Kool-Aid from the floor. When he was finished, he stood next to the sink, his hand on the counter. “Are you sure you didn’t just invite me because you wanted me to help clean?” Kyle pouted jokingly. He knew it was dumb, but he couldn’t think of any other way to start a conversation, so that was the sentence that ended up coming out of his mouth.

Stan looked up from the cup he was washing. “Hey. As soon as you came through the front door, you were offering to help me.” He smiled, then looked back down at the dirty water. “Don’t complain.”

Oh, right. He did that. “You got me.” Kyle wasn’t sure what to say next, and it seemed like it was time to leave… right? Did Stan want him to go? “If there’s nothing else I can do, maybe I should head home.”

“Maybe,” he spoke, turning the faucet off and drying his hands on a nearby dishrag. “Or you could keep me company,” Stan went on, setting the rag down on the counter and leaning against the counter, mimicking Kyle.

“I could.”

“...And I think you should,” Stan tilted his head. “We could, um, watch Catfish without getting stalked this time.”

This time, he couldn’t hold back a smile. “Sounds nice. Do you promise?”

“What? That you aren’t going to get stalked?”

Kyle moved closer, trying to think of a way to ask if Stan was gay without being weird about it- but he knew the truth. There was no way, and he would have to make it awkward if he wanted to make a move. “If you can’t promise, it’s a deal breaker. I don’t want to get stabbed again.”

Stan’s eyes trailed down to Kyle’s wrist. “Is it healing okay? I’m sorry about that, if I knew he would- like- visit, I wouldn’t have taken the case.”

“Oh, it’s okay,” he spoke, turning his wrist so that the scar faced up. “It’s healing fine. It actually looks cool.” After he spoke, he realized he was repeating something  _ Kenny  _ had said earlier about his scar. No, the scar wasn’t cool-looking, in Kyle’s opinion- it looked like he came out the bad end of a gang fight.

Stan stared at the scar, frowning. “Looks like you tried to kill yourself. Just because of, y’know- the spot it’s in.”

“Really?” Kyle asked, letting his arm drop back down to his side. “I haven’t gotten that from anyone yet.”

“...I’m sure people are thinking it. You probably sound crazy when you tell them that someone stabbed you and dragged the blade down.” Stan shrugged, then turned around and sat on the couch, staring at Kyle, waiting for him to join.

Sitting down next to him, Kyle grabbed a blanket and wrapped himself in it, waiting for Stan to pick up the remote. When he didn’t, Kyle pointed it out, and the conversation delved into who should pick what show they were watching (neither of them actually gave that much of a shit about Catfish), and Stan ended up winning. Kyle picked something random from the front page, and then it was settled.

-

Halfway through the first season of the show, Stan turned to look at Kyle. Warmth grew in his chest when he saw that Kyle was asleep, or at least his eyes were closed, his head resting on the arm of the couch. He spent a while just staring- admiring- and then turned back to the TV. He was pleasantly surprised that Ryan and his friends were able to keep it down throughout the night, though silence was sometimes worrying with a small group of kids.

Stan let a few more hours pass, mindlessly staring at the TV screen without retaining any information, before he went upstairs and told the party that it was time to go to bed. He didn’t care if they actually slept- he knew it wouldn’t happen when he told them to, and they might  _ actually  _ start winding down at about 3 AM, but he felt like reminding them anyway. He sat back down, glanced at Kyle again, and was faced with a dilemma; lay down on the opposite side of the couch? Go to his own bed? Pick Kyle up and put him in the bedroom, and return to the couch?

Sleep on the floor?

He didn’t want to be away from Kyle, that was for sure. Kyle made him feel less  _ lonely,  _ assured him that there was someone else around to help with Ryan, even if he wasn’t as much of a handful as he used to be, and someone to turn to in an emergency. Of course, Kyle was a college student, so he wasn’t exactly stable (and that was one of the reasons Stan was so hesitant to  _ do something  _ about his feelings,) but something about Kyle calmed his nerves.

And when Ryan asked about Kyle? Asked if Kyle could come to his birthday? Well, that just gave Stan another excuse to have him over. He was running out of excuses, he knew that- he would have to fall back on the terms in which they met,  _ babysitting,  _ which was unfortunate, because babysitting required Stan to be away. It would be ridiculous to ask Kyle to babysit his son during one of Stan’s own episodes, where he could just as easily hand Ryan over to Wendy for the week and not worry about anything.

And by anything, he meant being judged. 

Stan turned to look at him again. He would leave Kyle where he was- picking him up in the middle of the night and taking him somewhere else felt creepy, in a sense- and sleep on the floor, just so Kyle would remain nearby. If anyone asked, he would say he was too tired to return to his bedroom upstairs.


	14. Chapter 14

Kyle woke up just in time to brush his teeth and use the bathroom before the parents arrived. They dragged their kids out to the car, apologizing profusely for being ‘late’ and thanking Stan for watching them. Some of the kids left in tears- they wanted to spend the night again, and eat more cake, and play more video games- and Kyle found himself missing the years when he was like that. He had a lot of close friends when he was younger, but as he grew older, he slowly disconnected from the students in his class and focused more on schoolwork.

He kind of wished he hadn’t.

After all of Ryan’s friends left, Stan had to nag him to clean his room, and Ryan caved with the promise that Kyle would stay longer than everyone else. That left Stan and Kyle in the living room. Stan sat down on the couch, his shoulders tense and elbows on his knees, holding his head in his hands. He let out a deep breath.

Kyle sat next to him, hesitating before deciding to reach out and rub Stan’s shoulder, digging his fingers into the cloth of his t-shirt. “At least it’s over. You don’t have to deal with another birthday party for a year.”

“...Okay, yeah. You’re right. I’m just tired.”

Kyle understood- he fell asleep before Stan, obviously, but Stan woke up way earlier than him too. “I’ll help Ryan clean his room and let you take a nap. I can distract him until you wake up.”

“I appreciate it, but, uh, I think I’m more tired mentally. Ryan will be okay without anyone watching him.” Stan sat up straight. “If you want to hang out though, that would be nice.”

_ He wants me to stay?  _ Kyle sat and thought for a moment. Duh, he wanted to be around Stan, but what would they do all day? Would it be awkward? And how did he agree without sounding too enthusiastic? “I think that’s- good, yeah,” he spoke, already hating himself.  _ I think that’s good? Yeah?  _ That’s the best he could come up with? “What would we do?”

“There anything you wanna do?” Stan asked, raising his eyebrows.

_ God.  _ He needed to make a move. “Mmm, I guess we could talk. I have a question though.”

“Yeah?”

“Not to- um, bring her up again, but how long have you and Wendy been separated?” Probably super bad timing with Stan finding out that Ryan wasn’t his only yesterday morning, but he wanted to know. If the two of them had been divorced for a long time, Stan would be ready to move on- at least, Kyle hypothesized. 

Stan frowned. “I’m okay talking about her, actually. I think I’ve accepted it now... we’ve lived apart since 2017, maybe? Early 2017.”

“So, about, um.. almost four years? Okay,” Kyle said. Definitely enough time for him to be over Wendy- but that didn’t mean Stan had  _ no  _ romantic interests. “Do you like that girl?”

“What girl?”

“The one who was flirting with you last night. The blonde?”

Stan cringed. “Oh god. She’s too… her voice is too annoying for me. And Vic is a bad parent, I mean, she yells at her kids pretty much all the time. She never sits down and talks to them like they’re human beings. I’ll pass.”

That was a big relief for Kyle- knowing that there were no other women, or at least no  _ serious  _ contenders that he had to compete with.

But he didn’t know that for sure. Stan was single. He probably had Bumble, Tinder, or eharmony… or  _ all  _ of them, if he was that desperate. Fortunately, he already started this line of questioning- it wouldn’t be weird to ask. “Okay. Any women you have your eye on, then?” Kyle prodded, shifting his placement on the couch so that his entire body was facing Stan.  _ Why not go all out?  _ “Or guys. I don’t judge,” he added. Maybe that would get a reaction out of him.

“Definitely no women right now, uh,” Stan spoke, a confused smile spreading on his face. “Guys?”

“What do you mean? Yes, guys. If you don’t like guys, then say no.”

Heat rose to Stan’s face. “I mean, I’ve- I don’t know. I’ve never been with a guy before, it would be weird.”

_ Oh, he’s gay. Oh shit.  _ If Stan was straight, there were all kinds of responses that he could give, but the fact that Stan was  _ lingering  _ on it? He had a chance. He really, really did. “How would it be weird?” he pressed, locking eyes with him. He prayed that it was getting across to Stan that he was trying to flirt. Kyle was afraid of being too obvious, though, so there was really a fat chance of Stan understanding what he meant.

Shrugging, Stan broke eye contact. “I’ve never done it. That’s all.”

“But have you ever liked a guy before?” Kyle was starting to sense that he was uncomfortable. “If- I mean, you don’t have to answer. I’m just curious.”

“No, no, it’s okay. I’m- I dunno. Sorry,” he said, smiling again. “I have liked a guy before, but like, fuck. I don’t know.”

“That’s okay.” 

Kyle was satisfied with the information he had now, and was ready to move onto something else, but Stan…  _ kept going.  _ “It would just be different. Sex, obviously, and… I’d have to stop talking to my uncles, for sure, I don’t think my dad would care, uh.. well, he’d care, but...” he rambled, looking up from the couch cushion. “Are you gay? Is that why you’re asking?”

His eyes widened. He didn’t expect the line of reasoning to be thrown back on him _.  _ And what was he supposed to do? Be honest? It’s what Stan wanted, and there was a chance Stan shared the same feelings he did… “I’ve been with guys and girls. Um, I actually prefer guys. A lot more.” He’d known he was bisexual since third grade, and did have trouble with it, but he wasn’t thinking about any of that right now. 

The only thing on his mind was Stan, and the way he kept breaking eye contact, and the redness on his cheeks, and the sliver of white, polished teeth he could catch when Stan spoke.

Was he being too optimistic about this?

“I think I prefer guys too. I’ve never talked about this with anyone, but Wendy always accused me of being gay when we dated. Is that weird? Do I seem gay or something?”

Well, this was certainly good news for him, but he didn’t want to delve  _ too _ deep into the topic (not that they weren’t already deep into the discussion), so he changed the topic to Ryan, and then onto Stan’s job, asking what it was like to be a lawyer. For once, as Stan talked, Kyle felt like there wasn’t such a ‘professional’ disconnect between them. Kyle certainly wasn’t just the babysitter anymore.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thank you guys for 1800 hits!! took me forever to get this chapter out but hope the end makes up for it lol

“God, Kenny,” Kyle complained, digging through the laundry basket in the living room. “You need to fucking help me.”

Kenny sat on the couch, his feet propped up on the table, watching some shitty reality TV show. “Just ask him! It won’t be awkward if you guys have already talked about it.”

“No, but what do I  _ wear?” _

“You dress nice all the time for no damn reason. You don’t need to panic over it.”

He let out a low groan, folding over and sticking his head in the laundry basket, gripping the handles. “Kenny. Help.”

“Well, it’s cold, so you’re going to end up with a jacket on anyway.”

He was right. It was mid-December, with Christmas almost a week away, and it was ice-cold outside. Why  _ was  _ Kyle worrying about what to wear, if all of it would be covered by a winter coat and scarf? “Okay. You’re right.” He pulled his head out from the basket. “If you had a date-”

“You don’t know if it’s a date or not. So ask.”

Stan messaged Kyle a few days ago, asking if he was free to ‘meet up and talk.’ They decided on dinner, and Stan already had a restaurant picked out, but Kyle was having an issue figuring out what Stan truly meant by  _ having dinner.  _ If there was news, it was too important to send over text or call. If it was a date…

“You’re like a girl. He’s not even going to be paying attention, and it’s not like you have many options. Wear a winter coat and some slacks and you’re done,” Kenny advised, starting to get ticked off. When Kyle gave him a look, Kenny narrowed his eyes. “What? Are you planning on wearing lingerie if it’s supposed to be a date or something? Jesus Christ, if it  _ is  _ a date, just say you didn’t know.”

Reluctantly, Kyle grabbed some things from the basket that looked warm and entered his bedroom, haphazardly trying things on, throwing them in one corner of the room, before changing his mind and putting it back on. For someone who was normally so sure of himself, it was freaking Kenny out a little bit, seeing him in that state.

Time was ticking, though. At 7:30, Kyle decided he had to get going, so he picked what he thought was the safest option and left the dorms.

-

His anxiety was at an all-time high as he pulled into the parking lot. The sky was already an inky black, and he was still incredibly early leaving the house- just the way Kyle liked it. Showing up late, or even on-time, was rude. That was the last impression Kyle wanted to give Stan.

He kept his eyes fixated on the road, and let out a groan as the car in front of him came to a stop. Of course, he decided to take main street instead of the interstate. Like an idiot.

As he sat in traffic, he realized Stan probably wouldn’t care if he showed up late or not. Stan was the  _ type of person  _ to show up late, clearly, he’d be lenient. To kill time, Kyle did a bit of research on the restaurant. It was an Italian restaurant Kyle had never heard of before, and part of him was scared that it would be really expensive- Stan said the check would be on him.

The interior looked nice, but most of the reviews said the food was reasonably priced, which set Kyle’s mind at ease.

_ A date. _

Unless it wasn’t. God, if it wasn’t a date, it must’ve been a  _ really  _ special occasion. His mind was buzzing with stress- when Stan invited him out, he’d been with his family back in South Park, celebrating Hanukkah. Kyle still needed time to wind down, but turning Stan down didn’t even cross his mind.

He stopped in the parking lot, keeping the engine on as he checked his phone. Kyle passed the time by scrolling through Instagram and talking to Kenny, trying to reassure himself.

-

“Hey Kyle. I missed you.”

Kyle squeezed his eyes shut, inhaling the scent of Stan’s shampoo and cologne as he let his chin rest on Stan’s shoulder.  _ He missed me,  _ he thought to himself, pulling away from the hug in fear of making it last too long. “You did?”

“Yeah, it’s been a while since we’ve talked in person.” Stan paused, his arms still around Kyle’s waist. “How did Hanukkah go?”

“I’m just glad it’s over.” Seeing Ike was nice, but his parents were pretty draining.

Stan smiled. “Yeah… you wanna go inside?”

They entered the restaurant, got seated, and ordered. When the waiter left the table, Kyle’s gaze fell back on Stan, trying to decide what to say in the brief moment of awkward silence. “...So.”

“So?”

“Did you, um.. did you need to tell me something? Or did you just want to see me again?” he asked, holding back a smile. The possibility that Stan invited him out for  _ no reason  _ aside from missing him was endearing, but he hoped there was another motive- it would make the conversation less awkward and aimless. He could pull topics from thin air and hope they lasted, but would it work?

Stan broke eye contact, opting to stare down at the glossy sealant on the table. “Both. I have a job coming up in January, so there’s that, and uh, I’ve been thinking about w- you, uh… what you said a lot.” He tried moving on from the subject, by mentioning that the case was currently in the pre-trial phase and that the real case should start around January 11th, but Kyle’s mind was stuck on the way Stan had stuttered through the previous sentence.

If Stan really was that nervous, Kyle would need to make another move. As Stan dug himself into a hole, still talking about the upcoming trial, Kyle brainstormed ways to bring their relationship up, and by the time Stan decided to stop rambling, he had a plan.

“Oh, that’s good. Because I’m free in January, I still have classes but I can make it work.”

Face reddened with embarrassment, Stan smiled and nodded, relieved that Kyle wasn’t pointing out his nervousness. “Okay. Yeah. Yeah, it  _ is _ good. So...”

“So you mentioned thinking about what I said,” Kyle mentioned, raising his eyebrows. He was interrupted by the waiter placing their drinks on the table, but he left soon enough. “Anything you need to tell me?”

“What? Oh- about the.. you being gay thing. I don’t know.”

Kyle couldn’t help himself this time. He smiled. “You don’t know if you have anything to tell me?”

“I don’t..?”

“So why did you bring it up?”

He was at a loss for words. “You asked if I just wanted to see you or if I had something to tell you.”

“Yeah, but if you were thinking about it a lot, that means something.” Kyle leaned forward. “You can tell me.”

Once again, the waiter came back mid-conversation, distracting them. He smiled. “Are you two ready?”

Kyle glanced at the menu, ordering whatever looked healthiest right off the bat. Stan chose steak. Kyle leaned forward and sipped on his straw as the waiter wrote a few words down and left.

“Are we thinking the same thing?” he asked, coming close to just confessing his feelings. Stan was clearly too nervous to say anything...

“What are you thinking?”

“I think you invited me to dinner because you had something else to tell me. Something that doesn’t have to do with the court case.”

“...”

“I think you wanted to ask me something,” Kyle spoke, bending his straw backwards. “But you’re too nervous.”

Stan’s lips parted. He looked away from Kyle, staring at something behind him.

“Am I wrong, Stan?”

“Uh.”

Was Kyle reading it all wrong? He was already so far in- if he decided not to ask, the date would get awkward. “Do you want me to say it for you?”

“...Yes.”

“Okay,” Kyle spoke, sitting up straighter. “I think you like me. Am I right?”

Stan hesitated before he spoke. “I am. I mean, uh, hah. I do. I do like you.”

“You don’t sound so sure.” Something told him Stan  _ wasn’t  _ lying to make him feel better, but the way Stan was acting definitely worried him. “If you don’t, it’s okay.”

“No, I do! Sorry, I’m just-” he spoke, cutting himself off when the waiter returned.  _ Well, that was fast,  _ Kyle thought, watching the steam rise off of his grilled chicken and vegetables. Stan took the steak sauce from the waiter, smiling and thanking him as he walked away again.

Kyle unwrapped the fabric around his utensils, cutting into his chicken as he lifted his gaze. “You're just?”

“Nervous. I was gonna bring it up later, um, before the two of us left, so I could go home if you rejected me.” Stan didn’t touch his food yet. “Are you going to?”

“Well, you never asked me anything,” Kyle pointed out. ‘You’re talking about us dating?” He was surprised with how well he was keeping his composure and not tripping over his own words- the entire dinner seemed unreal to him, and Kyle rarely worked well under pressure.

Stan began picking at his food. “If you liked me back- would it be weird? Us dating?”

“No? Why would it be weird?”

“I have a- kid, and a house and a job.” Stan finally cut into his own steak, but didn’t take a bite. He continued cutting, staring down at it while he spoke. “We’re at completely different stages in our life.”

Kyle wanted to pull the plate away so Stan would look at him, but didn’t. “So? We’re only five years apart, it’s not that big of a gap.”

“Six years. Actually.” Stan set his steak knife down, juice dripping off of the blade and onto the plate.

“You said you were twenty-five when we met.”

“I’m twenty-six now. My birthday was in October,” he explained. “Does this mean you like me?” Stan lowered his voice, remembering that they were in a public place and he didn’t really want people picking up on their conversation. It was all very new to him- dating a new person, let alone a guy, or someone like Kyle.

Kyle frowned. “What? Why didn’t you tell me? You didn’t get to celebrate your birthday with  _ anyone?” _

“...Well, I was working.”

“So? I could’ve came down with Ryan and at least bought you a cake or something.”

He shook his head. “Do you like me or not?”

“Yes! I wouldn’t be having this conversation with you if I didn’t,” he said, smiling. Stan was ridiculous. “I’ve liked you since- well, after that whole Cartman thing happened. When you came home from Aspen to help me.”

Stan pursed his lips together. Neither of them spoke, until Stan broke out into a smile, the heat on his cheeks and ears growing darker. “Okay.”

“Okay what? Are we dating? We can just see if it works out..”

“Sure,” Stan agreed, starting to eat now that the scary part of their conversation was over. 

-

They ate dinner, though the rest of the night was far from awkward- as they polished off their food, they started talking again, about how things would work, who else they would tell about the relationship- the logistics, which was important for Kyle to establish if they were going to date now.

When they finished, Stan paid, as promised, although Kyle had a hard time letting that happen. They left the restaurant and stood outside of Kyle’s car, saying their goodbyes, until Stan leaned closer and kissed him.

Kyle kissed back. They stood like that for a while, though Kyle pulled away first, feeling Stan’s hot breath linger around his mouth and cheeks, on his neck. It was a nice break from the  _ freezing fucking cold  _ they were currently standing in. Kyle was starting to shiver. “We could go to my house,” Stan whispered, still holding Kyle close.

“I don’t want to have sex,” he answered honestly, though the idea of falling asleep next to Stan, in his huge, cozy bed was nice.

“I didn’t say that.” Stan reached up to touch Kyle’s hair- he’d always wondered what that felt like. “We could do anything you want. I think Ryan would like seeing you in the morning, too. Wendy is supposed to drop him off.”

He smiled, his eyelids drooping with sleepiness. Going back to the dorm seemed almost crazy to him. Kenny would just have to spend the night alone. “Okay,” he whispered back.


End file.
